Aloha, Lovecat,
Have you ever been so engrossed with something so petty or meaningless (like a phone or a magazine article), that you miss the greater beauty of the moment happening around you?
This happened to me yesterday.
{ A Day in the Life: Life is Beautiful, Put Down the G*DD*MN Phone! }
{My Hawaii Life: Shaka – It’s all good.}
N sat on the couch next to me, a bowl of salad on his lap, crunching away on his greens. In between bites, he paused and gasped.
“Oh my effing God,” he said, leaning forward.
“Mm-hmmm,” I mumbled, scrolling through my Instagram feed.
“I can’t believe we live here! Look at that sky!”
I briefly looked up from my iPhone. The sky was afire, apricot, peach, tawny reds, some lavenders, a little pink tinge on that wisp of cloud, and a gradient of infinite, deepest blue. Against this coat of many colors, the cone silhouette of Koko Head had a patch work of light playing against the dry greens and yellows and browns, shadows creeping deep in the ridges and grooves eroded into the sides of the volcano. The moon was a quiet shimmer through the clouds, ready to rise once sunlight completely died.
N’s mouth was agape.
{Sunset chasing and sweet kisses from my Son[Dog] Max.}
{Poke!}
I went back to my phone and the beautiful women in beautiful clothes crowding my timeline.
“Seriously, look at this… this is effing beautiful!” N continued, pausing to take another humongous bite of his dinner salad. “Did you ever think to yourself, three-four years ago, that we’d ever in our lives be living here?”
“Uh uh,” I mumbled, shaking my head, not taking my eyes from my phone.
Gorgeous outfits and sky-high heels flashed before my eyes as I tapped and scrolled, tapped and scrolled, liking a photo quickly and moving on to the next without commenting. I continued scrolling from photo to photo for awhile before I realized N had stopped talking.
I looked up. N’s brow furrowed deeply, lines cutting across his head like cracks in a dry lake bed. A deep fissure between his eyebrows. A look of concern and stern scolding flashing in his dark eyes.
“What?”
“Don’t you ever put down your damn phone? Look where we are. Listen to what we’ve just been talking about. Look outside and see how lucky we are. You live where you never dreamed you’d be. Why don’t you just put down the phone and be in the moment for a second?”
He snatched the iPhone out of my hand and tossed it on the floor, just a ways out of my reach. Normally something like this would annoy the shit out of me, but he was absolutely right. I needed to be in this moment, a moment of true and stunning beauty that may never be replicated.
Koko Head’s slopes were darkening in the waning light and the moon had gained strength from that quiet shimmer to a glowing orb, silver and hazy behind the clouds.
I gasped. All my breath disappeared for a quick second.
{Koko Head and moonrise.}
Truth is, no, before I met N, I had never imagined living in Hawaii, let alone travel there. I mean, I’d wished I could visit, but on a poor college kid’s budget, not something I’d really fantasize about and plan in detail. Before I met N, no one had ever said they’d take me there, or talked about what was here. I never played the Anywhere But Here Fantasy game where I’d imagine different scenarios and daydream about vacations and excursions in this exotic locale of legendary sunsets, gorgeous rainbows and white sands. Before I met N, I’d never let my dreams venture farther than the reaches of the eastern coast of the United States or farther south than Baja Mexico (where I’d already been) or farther west of the California coastal town I lived in. My mind just didn’t expand or widen enough to include faraway places and foreign lands or tropical destinations. I was firmly and plainly a continental girl, living in a bubble and unimaginative beyond all measure.
Then I met N, who came from a weird and foreign place (Detroit), who had traveled the globe and was interested in it… and my entire perspective of the world changed. All of a sudden, there WAS a world out there. It actually existed and real people lived in it and had stories to tell. Not just the stories I heard on the news or saw in movies or read on blogs or in magazines. All the fairytales and fantasies were real, happened in real castles and cathedrals and palaces and in hillsides and forest glades, along rivers and in lakes and in glorious, towering mountains, and not just as the history books told them!
I know I make my teenage and early 20 something self sound so naive, but in truth, I really was that sheltered. Sure, I knew the world existed, but never once did I think I’d go out and explore it, so it never made sense to be curious or imagine a life of adventure in it for myself.
{Max looking out over Hawaii Kai, to our mountainside neighborhood, Mariner’s Ridge.}
So now that I find myself living this weird and beautiful Hawaiian adventure with my husband and my Wheaten Terrier, why do I let myself miss out on it so often?
We sacrificed a lot, slaved for years and risked much to come and build a life here. Given everything we’ve been through to make our own dreams real, why take it for granted or even forget that it’s here? Why obsess over material things I’ll never give myself and obsess about beautiful women I may never meet, whose style I can’t attain? There are much more beautiful, gorgeous things happening here in Hawaii. The best runway show at Paris Fashion Week could never rival the light show that runs across our Hawaii skies each night.
{I put down my phone for a second to enjoy the view.}
Sometimes, you realize how absolutely breathtaking your life is… you only have to put down that goddamned phone to see it.
{ Have you ever come to a similar realization? }
Rock on, Lover!
Me ke aloha ~ With love + aloha,
Mae Xx
Photos © Nate Luzod except for first photo.
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