I didn’t watch the Oscars on account of 1.) it’s pretty boring. 2.) I was getting pretty much all the highlights and lowlights on Twitter (and was getting bored). 3) I don’t get regular television reception, and I watch everything through Hulu.com or Boxee.

However, my following of the red carpet sartorial choices through Twitter left me with a few distinct impressions that the fashion was much more exciting than debating whether James Franco was indeed high or not, and whether Anne Hathaway’s nasal voice tended to veer into baby whining territory.

Took a bit of time this morning to look through a few “best dressed” and “worst dressed” lists, and here are my ratings.

{Yeas}

BEST OF THE NIGHT

Mila Kunis. Lavender is a hard color to pull off, but damn, the cut, the lace, the sheerness, the pleating, the drape, the modernity. She is rocking this dress.

Taylor Swift. Short, sweet, and effing sparkly. It’s so nice to see fierce mixed in with all the floor length gowns.

Florence Welch. Lovely dress, mesh, floral appliques, sheer, gorgeous. She needs to do something about those limp waves and tired, boring makeup. She looks like she went on a bender last week and forgot to wash her hair before arriving on the carpet. Amazing dress, though.

Kelly Osborne. Demure, vintage, classic. Really, really on point.

Hailee Steinfield of True Grit really, really pops with this tea length frock, very in line with the whole ballerina trend that’s been all the rage since The Black Swan blew box office records. I absolutely love this. And it’s perfectly youthful to match her young age.

Halle. I wanted to get married in a similar gown. I think her recent custody battle has made her show some of her own personal ignorance and idiosyncracies, but her style choices are still sharp.

{Middle of the roads}

ScarJo looks good here. There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on, though, that doesn’t give this enough of a va-va-va-voom factor.

I like this one a lot, too. Paltrow almost always knows how to knock it out of the park by dressing for her shape. This is really flattering, but I wish she would’ve done something with her hair.

{Nays}

Dianna Agron. I LOVE this dress, actually, but only up until about the knees. Her makeup, her hair, absolutely flawless and shiny. Let’s face it, this girl is fantastically gorgeous. And so is the dress. Except for the part where it falls to her ankles and makes her body look stubby. Would’ve been better in a tea-length.

Reese, Reese, Reese, this kind of first lady trend gown went out of style in the 80s. It’s boring. BOH-RING. Just like a bunch of your most recent movies. Well, actually, milquetoast doesn’t quite describe your movies other than Walk the Line. It’s something worse, but I can’t pull up the word.

Zoe Saldana. Wow, the neckline is really gorgeous, artfully done and really unique compared to a lot of the other dresses. Below the waist, however, it’s a mess of color blocking and tulle. What the heck happened? Being unique is not an excuse to get lost in your effort.

Claire Danes. Wow, 70s retro makes a comeback, and falls flat on its face. I see what she was trying to do here, but she looks shapeless, lost, and really, really exhausted. Even that lipstick can’t save her.

Anne Hathaway. Other than her lackluster performance as the host, was this vintage Valentino (I think) gown. The sheen to it and the bunching on the train (I wouldn’t call it a bustle–it looks like bunching) and the oversize rosettes, it calls to mind an image of a bouquet of roses being thrown away and stashed in a red garbage bag. Harsh, but incredibly unflattering. The dress would’ve been much better had they hacked off the train and bustle.

Jennifer Lawrence. I actually found her on the best dress list on People.com. No. Just because it’s a silk Calvin Klein doesn’t make it look like a $15 jersey tank dress you picked up at TJ Maxx or Kohl’s clearance rack. If you put that much effort into your hair and makeup, the least you could’ve done is spend 20 minutes to meet with a stylist and pick something that doesn’t look bargain basement for the red carpet. This is fine if you’re going to the beach or somewhere other than the Oscars.

And I leave you with the most hilarious nay of all.

Why in the hell did Katie Price go to the Oscars? She’s not famous for doing anything useful other than being a hot mess. Just like this dress and her spray on tan. Let’s not even get started on her chest. This look literally summons bile.

And there you have it! My takes on Oscar night!

What were your picks? Link me to some of your Yeas and Nays!

Source: Glamour UK

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