Someone said lately that she feels lost. Acts strong and confident, but often isn’t.
I often feel the same way. I question myself: Who am I? What do I want out of life? Out of myself? And lots of the time, I can’t find those answers. But I act like I can, because faking it sometimes does help me cope and move forward.
In response to her own same questions I said:
I think being lost and trying to find yourself and find your way–in addition to being a soul injured and a heart frayed–that’s all just a part of being human, and the growing process of becoming who you must become. Flowers don’t bloom without going through lots and lots of dirt and past choking weeds. It takes a lot of sunlight and care to continue to thrive, but some hardy ones make it.
I think, to some degree, we are all lost. Humanity and meaning are always in flux, so finding meaning is a constant pursuit. And you’re right, behavior can condition attitude. “Fake it till you make it” is a cliché mantra, but it does work to a great extent as you said.
A lot of my twenties were lost in the pursuit of happiness and love… Then I realized that happiness is a vain pursuit, because different things will make us happy, and trying to pin down what we think will fulfill that need is only an endless chase that may result in nothing. A pursuit of contentment is better (not to be confused with complacency). I also realized that a pursuit of love had nothing to do with men, but it took awhile before I figured that out, and by then, I was already tethered to the man I’d eventually marry.
You’ll get there. You portray yourself as strong, but you do possess enough strength and know that you have, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to fake it so well.
We’re always changing and flowing. Don’t fight it. You are where you are meant to be at this moment, so that you can find what you are meant to be and do in the next.
And with that said, I feel like this is good advice to myself…